I don't know when it started, but there was always such silence. Since I was young, I always view you as a person that I always wanted to be. You were the epitome of a cool guy despite your temper. I remember your stories and the photographs and the postcards that accompany it. Back then the silence made you even cooler.
I remember one-day mom told me that the silence between us became become bigger, as there was an actual distance between us. Realizing that you changed. You became warmer, but still, the silence lingered. If we met or talked, we didn't know how to start a conversation or to maintain one. I realized since that time, that we both struggled to overcome it.
Before the silence became permanent, you apologized. As far as I remember that was your first. I can only reply your apology later, by saying I love you, my first ever too.
Now the silence is permanent, and I realize if I were to repeat this all over again, the silence will still be there. It was a part of us, it gave us room to understood each other and in some ways, It actually spoke louder than any voice we ever uttered.
Allow me to say this again, I love you and I will miss you Dad.